Monday, November 07, 2011

What We're Watching Fall 2011

Desperate Housewives (obvs.)

Pan Am - it's like glass ceiling era Grey's Anatomy, but with exotic locations and flashbacks (ala Lost.) Smoke Monster, tbd

Suburgatory - it's like Mean Girls as a TV series, except she moved from Manhattan and her neighbor is from SNL, not her teachers.

Community - after being threatened by cancellation last season, our favorite Spanish study group has really raised the bar for ridiculous plot lines and clever course oriented episode titles

Modern Family - if you're not watching, we're sad for you.

Revenge - it's like Lost, but in the Hamptons. Smoke monster is kind of everyone.

Glee - this is one pipe we just can't put down.

Ringer - grown up version of our summer fave The Lying Game

America's Next Top Model - we've finally taken Tyra back, and just in time for All Stars. Note that overdramatic behavior is a prerequisite, while taking good photos are considered a bonus.

The Office - still funny, even sans Carell.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Oh Andy

There are some really nice gesticulations in this one.

Andy Milonakis - Future Rap Verse

Don't worry

Amanda Lepore's signature fragrance is 30% off. It's now $256. Go here for more info

That's ridiculous. Amanda Lepore, I love you and your cotton cany, but really? Don't you know that we're all poor right now?

M.I.A and Oprah


I am in love with this picture of M.I.A. and Oprah at the Time 100 event. Nice posing.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

So You're Having a Gay Baby

This is kind of weird. I don't know how I feel about Gay Pimp as a baby.

Courtney, what are you trying to say?

I cannot decipher any of this blog post Courtney Love made. If you can, please enlighten me.

well i shpuldbe asleep
went to Booksoup and grabbed alot of books long gone ... imhaving abnned from ebay moment cos i tried to pretend iwas imna french flea ,arket and bought some french flea market things ( oooh they love thier ytiaras and crowns ebay store PARIS COUTURE is nuts shes a little spendy but has exquisute taste in crowns, its like a Catholic thing have you seen the boots Panos designed for Givenchy ? M..< Christ ugh igh ugh Mandy Moore ick the thoufghg of her sticking her toungue downthat filthy hatch...i might as well go watch "Hostelle" ill feel better), ick, dirty sheets, ick no toothbrush, smelly ass, ick i LOATHE that guy, ivehad my fair share of fights with artists, i mean Kathleen :Black Card" Horowitz OOPS did i tell a big secret? you mean ypou didmnt KNPW she had a HUGE bunch of property? a Centurion card and summers in the Hamptons? oops...well lets just pretend shes Julie ruin, listen man if you just khanded 90,000 people thier asses and were good anough to respecdt your elders and letthem have ab opening slot on an old alt tour, and they were so rude they put that witch on mystage THERE IS NO STRONGER DRUG THAN ADRENILINE and fucking a i know that, ive been like the mother who can lift up three cars to get my child from out undert for years , ussuaully around this time at night ,morning too. and your all sweaty and adrenilised, and smarky snarky says the nastiest thing to you and throws CANDY in yoruface youd giveher one in theface.
People i would hit if i saw them




Lynn Hirschberg




Ryan Adams




thats really it,. i cantthink of anyone i truly hate except gross small cocked disgys=usting Barber and all the cpas, and lawyers, hitthem? Nope i got me alwyer and hes a MOTHERFUCKER , its a good thing too cos i have a book called 1001 books to read before you die, and i couldnt take a life but uc ould easily geta gun from walmart and knee say Azoff in front of his family for "owning" "Dollhead" publishing or Collatorising Billions in property with Kurts Estate, am looking at a 70k BMI check ti me that went two weeks ago to Feldstien only at 10100 santa monica i 411d all the businesses there, and none exist, oi. Moises Cobain? whats next ? Yahweh? herbert?




anyway other than the very simple factthat [laying power pop with Billy Joe was the social highlight of my month, no one half hour at Cochella with Eli that Basterd was really real;ly fun too, je adore, im basically dealing with 20 years of shit that HASNT been stoeln bveing dumped in this house at one time, i mean a shoe here a tiara there, itrs like an Oprah clutter person but its all exquisute clutter,




theres no junque the sheets are all Frette or Pratesi and the "shit" is all cool,

the books i got today were alot of Logadadaphile type booksm Rustynuts@twitter * Russell Brand) my sweet boy has got me thinking of writing a book, i mean a really simple book no kiss and tell, i dont do that, but just the truth, i read a first draft if teh script and well, If Jim Brooks and Cameron Crowe tell youebnought imes youyrtehbest writer in town and then you were THERE shouldnbt i be writing my own shit, he has me cutting picsa of skinny models outof magazines? HUH? i wrote PORN FROM THE &)S ESP BONDAGE< BIG BUSHES w SHAKESPEARE QUOTES. im really excellent at music cues i think Camerons better and QTs no slouch, i wonder what it would be like to direct, to be honest id have to be so in love with someone to direct them and Gwyneth Kate Paltrow Martin is the onl;y person i can think of whose got seriously great chops and i could sustain 18 monthsof my life staring at her on an Avid,

well its a LONG ASSED way off, Theres a new book By Roja Dove the British "nose" on Perfume, so let me explain i am obsessed, seriously i love CB ihate perfume, i love the history of perfume, i love reading about Voil de Nuit and wondering what that smelled like or Emmmaruade before they took the ingrediants and made them shit, i lvoe remmebering seeing ambergris just some whale puke for cuttle fish and squid beaks on the water in Florence Ore, and wondering what civet really smells like i love layering posionous perfumes, Chris Borius has to make me some Daphne ots all enfluerage as it only grows a few weeks a year ina shrub, Enfluerage is the pld school way where one covers the glass with tallow and a thin layer of fat , the women and men in Grasse mostly get up at 3am and they pick Jasmine like hell, cos as the sun comes up the oil dries, and they throw it on the huge vat of glass trays and close thvat for 3 days then they do it again and again and again,

the nwehnthefat is so saturated, its called Pommade, and they take alchol to seperate the oil from the fat, then heat that, so thats all thats left is the dram of Jasmine - in sf years ago my friend maries dad wqasa smugller oh btw theres some insane russian person selling old old maniacaally cheap emeralds and rosecut victroian diamonds 20 cts and 40 cts and shit pon ebya Jewelry 4 Less. its flawed., and youre NOT?

the rings arent so great butits like someone took aparta taj majhal of victorian mine diamonds, and made massive rubies and chanbdelier dianonds out of them for dammed cheap, anyway, Maries dad smu=gkled diamonds Rubies Animals Gold Ingots and nothing was ever this preciosu than this test tube of Jasmine, if your a "Nose" you have to learn about 3000 scents in yoyurhead to recall and the Jasmine enfluertage has over 3000 ionides - adelydes just in it, so you can callin tehsharper part of the duller part or the golden shimmering part and build it on narcissus and heliotrope wich is no longer enflueraged wich of course makes me mad for it or honetsuckle theres edible and there is enflouraged poisnous and there is no more of it being made ever, this fucking Jasmine was gonna get maries dad KILLED i thinkhe had six or so he was running to hid ein Mill Valley and gave us one test tube this is when we were ina heavy assed "Amadeus" phase i mean like we sw that film 2x a day in SF, and we put it on ourselvesm, nothing much, BUT like orris its got mysteries remember i mentioned ORRIS




Orris is an insane alchemic group of moves i feel like an Orris sometimes andthen i read the description of my perfume Fracas and i laughed so hard it is SO what people think iof my goddammed persona




so some insane persontakes an Iris ( poisonous i only like poisonous scents for some reaqson)Rhizome strips it of leaves flowers and bulbs and sicks it ona shelf for 4 fucking YEARS and then some other or the dsame p[erson takes the "stone" down and sticks it ina lchohol abnothwr THREE years and opens the sto[pper and smells a vaguely powdery scent and this goddamed alchemist then puta single dro[[et of Mai Rose in it, and the whole place went off like a bomb its got so much complexity but pone could never have guesssed it, its got so much carbality and stays in the heart and the baseand the deep base of a p[erfume., i whored out for a while on Penhaligons Bluebell whose top note is actually Galbumum i know Galbumum w no carrier bit i wouldnt have recognised this its so well made, Freesia will not give up its scent nor will cherry blossoms, not will lily of the valley so anyone who thinks zMuguet is anythingbut a ton of syntehics youre wrong and synethics are great i have smelled mens clogne from before synthetics vanillan and etc, at Tryfitta nd Hill they suck, i decided by the time i was 11 i was gpig to have MY perfume and NOONE else was allowed to werar it ever, so o have called ms Roja Dove and ordered insane new CB acccortds hes doing a Metamorphis series, i like layering Tobacco on AMyryllis Belladonna on top of Ylang Ylang third wash the weaker enfluerage coas i loathe ylang ylang its suppiosed to be so sexy whenever a womens wearing it ugh i can tell and iw anna run, oh yeah and i do love Boudoir youc anget in teh Uk bt=y DameViv , Joe her son told me the Agent si meant to smell like Pussy ....once you smellthe top of coriander you can tell he meant it,

ina van tour way




and also Kate ms Moss is wearing Bluebell lately and yes i too love Ossie and Thea and in fact my dealer the lastthing ineed rifghtnow is clothing bvut she swore to me she had found some Ziegfeld Follies girls estates and i had to see thiis she didnt just find any folly girl she foudn :LILY FUCKING LANGTRYS ESTATE< no uypcycplyng here,! christ i have never seen sucvh exquisite fabrics and beading and handmade lace people went bloind making this stuff, i went to the Cicada club last night where its all 20s world and am getting this little house Chaplin built near the studio so we can make clothes there but there willbeno upcycling of the worths and Vionettes and Poirets of Langrty! theresa massive BAT imsenidng to my friend inthe uk Julian a vat she usecd as a V neck this was spomeone i have always been totally obsessed with, and to be dancing inher clothes some old 20s dance was a treat and now i had the boots replicated theseteensy liuttle boots of gloria swansons big as my palm of silver lame tie up, and have a golden coat with beatiful pailettes on it, i swear i never willlook at anything else conmspumtively we move tomorrow or the next day ill take my clkothes i want to the new house just alot of Rick Owens and Givenchya nd some MJ and then pout my abtique piueces and Bucol and SOlstiss and robbons and Passimeterie nd cocardes and corserty@etsy stuff in there and wait for PIPA WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!!!!




anyway thats an orris an unexpected piece of alchemy that noone knew was coming, and the Jersey Lilys lamne tobe is wrapped aroudn me now i asked Beinhorn to s=describe this album now and he said

Gothic Fleetwood Mac. okay i thought it was mayvete wall since hemade me listent o so much earlya nd later Floyd, i found a jewel too Nick Caves lyric books and i foudn a secret old blues song that blew me away , its so secret that im not telling anyone about it, i wrote amnd wrote abput narcissus and hyacinth and heliotrope woch beatsthe hellout of writing about Jacksonville,

I did see [ictures of Karen Elsons new Nashville Vinatge store and went bananas, but it dodnt seem, they were sending anythigni love Shrimtoncouture.coma nd i justsent those kids from Gibbous thiet first stuff ididnt send them the jets and the lames and the chiffons quite i sent them some, next order iw illsend them the exquisites theres seriously moiutains intarps of 20 feet by 30 feet of stuff here it all revolves around a vision board i created using only b;ack blues greys and golds and a Prellle fabric theyw ere makingteh Dauphines cloths back inversailles andtheystill make one yard a day, theres a fabric of clouds shot withs ilver and another called benedictus im sort of completely obssesed with that and rose Tralows Celtic knot chair and ybigebondy bed and my books and im konked im not a hetr i just loathetheidea of howmyuchny daughter was suffering while ryan # zimmerman@ adams ate his fatface off at Nobu and im lookinginto his poirperty, ihave a gut feeling thatbarbers so desperate to know anyone in m usic at this point no wthat hes in gainesvile and justa total land developer usong my daughters trust and me and kurts estate as collatiral that he may have bouht adams its the thought that the sad fucker is bought that makes me sick if the Black Book guy wants to know why i ignore your calls now you do, yopur resident alien freak cdirty pants shitbag makes me ill/

but ohterwise i love everyone,. imnopt sayong youknwo the foo foghters are so excellent, cos theyre kinda boring i wa explainign to FB whos aid HOw SOonIS Now was her fabvorute first song *( awww she is related to me!) about :Leonard since i hear Coachella audiences didnt get GOD i eman Cohen, speaking of godlike genius why are Jagger and a Marley son and Joss STone and Davwe stewart wgo has the most mindblowing guitar i have ever played ever ever, and i like him tons, what are they doing?

have you veen to cooco de mer and smelled thate cleccita hat has a pinkpepper and vetover top and allthe rest is one phermone that swiss clinicians fpudb thatstuff is isnane, its wierdly effective,

love to my friends, id love ot hear himan c=voiuces i amn inthw studioo every night its getting closer getting closer. youw illnot rec ognise one song sio dont gogettingall demotiis on me, it rocks so hard, Mickop has becoems a MAN even tho hes a MAN WHORE< as long as hes spunly withthat 68 reissue iu dotncare if hes onCrazy Gril 19.




olay lods were all just little Orris rhizonmes waiting for a drop of rare enflureageim gpoign to read HEAT now, and then the Guardiana nd sleep i have [ro,mises tpo keep and miles to gobefore i sleep.




peace to the freaks and junkiea and fags and loonies and nutbags and poeple whod ont hurt others, the rest of you, as Ms Dunaway said to me the forst day i was ona film set ( MommyDearest) GETTHAT GIRL OUT OF MYEYELINE!




love you kiddles, smell my wrists youllconme back for more im going to jumop inmy massive ebodny bed and think of Pasnos boots and Pipa gettingher ass here and Julians face when he sees this bat and FIELDING !!!!! ypuhave a HUUUGE sunset blvdposter motherfucker. and ROTH this WEEK or im coming OVER i can walk fromt he new house and id ammed well will, avid or not,




;ove to myfriends andto my one day tpo be friends'

court




MJ so did youhave a BLASSST?


What does all of this mean? Besides Courtney hating Mandy Moore's husband?

Monday, May 04, 2009

Why do I let myself watch Teen Cribs?

Watching Teen Cribs always drives me crazy. Here's why:

1) these aren't even famous teens. Doesn't that kind of defeat the point?
2) all the houses are insanely nice and I know I will probably be able to afford them
3) these "teens" are really pretty spoiled and seem to be oblivious to that fact
4) usually the teens are annoying jerks who are mean to their siblings/friends/parents while showing their house
5) and sometimes I get jealous.
6) but mostly it's hard to watch someone who feels that entitled, but has contributed so little. At least on real cribs, the people [mostly] have worked hard to live where they live.

That's it. I need to stop watching this frickin' show, but I'm such a sucker for looking at nice houses.

She's soft and sweet like cotton candy

Amanda Lepore - Cotton Candy


I'm going to be honest. I don't think it's fair to say Amanda Lepore "sings" this song. I think recites would be a more accurate verb. Anytit, this song is a fun time. The video is pretty cute. If you ignore the singing reciting, you could easily think this song was sung by some 13 year old girl and played a sleepover party. I guess the best review would to be to say that it's light, fluffy, fun, and pink - like, you guessed it, cotton candy.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Kelly: The Prequel

I like it. It's a good time. My favorite part is her sweater.

Aziz Ansari Tour Dates

April 28 - Los Angeles, CA - Largo - Aziz Ansari and Friends

May 3 - New York, NY - Union Hall - Tearing the Veil of Maya

May 4 - New York, NY - Whiplash at UCB-NY

May 8, 9 - Los Angeles, CA - The Improv

May 13 - 17 - Las Vegas, NV - LA Comedy Club

May 24 - The Gorge, WA - Sasquatch Festival

May 28 - 31 - Miami, FL - Miami Improv

Early June TDB - New York, NY - DVD TAPING

June 11 - 14 - Manchester, TN - Bonnaroo

Lily Allen UK Tour Dates

I wanna go!

Monday 16th November -- Sheffield O2 Academy

Tuesday 17th November -- Manchester Apollo

Friday 20th November -- Bournemouth IC

Saturday 21st November -- Plymouth Pavilions

Sunday 22nd November -- Swindon Oasis

Tuesday 24th November -- Birmingham NIA

Wednesday 25th November -- Glasgow SECC

Friday 27th November -- London Brixton O2 Academy

Diddy wants some good looking brothers

...for his 2009 Sean John Faces Of The Future Model Search



Deadline is May 1st

Black Eyed Peas want your texts

If you live in the LA area and want to go to a secret Black Eyed Peas event, check out these instructions for how to make your dreams come true.

p.s. You need texting to do it.

No Dakota

Dakota Fanning and I need to have a talk.

Check it, as a rule, your pockets should never for any reason stick out of your shorts. It's just not okay.

Music Video Time

Boy Least Likely to - When Life Gives Me Lemons I Make Lemonade
When Life Gives Me Lemons I Make Lemonade

See, I'm not feeling the song quite as much as I liked the songs on their last album, The Best Party Ever, but the video is freaking adorable. Defintely fun to watch. We'll give it 7 less than threes
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Dressy Bessy - Automatic Dressy Bessy "Automatic"

This is not my favorite song of the album, but it's catchy. The video is obviously way low budget, but it has its moments. So probably six
<3<3<3<3<3<3

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Jai Rodriguez wants you to pay attention

...and to know that he's still getting work. Ripped straight from the former Queer Eye's blog:

update
Ok there is sooo much going on! I am still with Chris! He's amazing but FUCK relationships are hard work. I haven't ever loved this much in my entire life. I haven't been mad as hard either. Professionally all else is great. My series GROOMER HAS IT airs every saturday night on ANIMAL PLANET. AT 9pm. TIVO IT NOW!!!!!!!!

IT's ok I'll wait.
Did you do it? ok good!

Then I have a film that's coming out called OY VEY MY SON IS GAY. Its really great staring Lanie Kazan.

Just shot a series for Sitv called MOdel LAtina that is airing in august. I will let you know all I can about it as it come closer to air time.

whew ok thats all I can think of right now. Chat soon you guys. PS

I shot my second music video and its AMAZING! Will post next month! YEA! Life is GREAT!

Andy Milonakis and Dirt Nasty

YOU can go see them if you want. I'm sure it will be super ridiculous.

Apr 29 2009 8:00P
Downtown Brew w/ Andre Legacy & Beardo - 18+ San Luis Obispo, California

Apr 30 2009 8:00P
The Boardwalk w/ Andre Legacy & Beardo Orangevale, California

May 1 2009 8:00P
Voodoo Lounge w/ Andre Legacy & Beardo San Jose, California

May 2 2009 8:00P
Hard 8 @ Roe Nightclub w/ Andre Legacy & Beardo - 21+ (www.surrealsf.com) San Francisco, California

P.S. Remember the time Dirt Nasty was on the first season of What I Like About You?

Friday, April 24, 2009

Bat Macumba Friday!

Bat Macumba hey hey!

Gilberto Gil

This bloke wrote the song, along with Caetano Veloso. They were both arrested in 1969 for being too cool for school Brazil's government. This is version is lovely.

of Montreal f/ Robert Schneider live

Always a party.

Os Mutantes (Os Mutantes album)

I love this version. It's so full of energy.

Os Mutantes (Tecnicolor album)

I believe this is the only non-English song on Tecnicolor. This version is much more mellow that the version featured on Os Mutantes' self-titled album.

Live! Os Mutantes f/ Devandra Banhart (with Sergio Dias interview)

Pretty exciting.

What does Bat Macumba mean? I have no idea. To me the song is an ambassador for the Tropicalia movement, almost like a mission statement, telling everyone how powerful Tropicalia is. Whether you see it or not, the scope of its influence is undeniable. It can be seen through the works of famous fans of Tropicalia including David Byrne, Beck, Kurt Cobain, Devendra Banhart, Of Montreal and Nelly Furtado.

P.S. There are musical artists called Bat Makumba and Batmacumba. Craziness!